Meredith Fields-Lawler's (LCSW) letter to her newborn daughter about why she's thankful her baby girl will one day know the grief of a father's death.

Loving and Losing:

A Letter to My Baby on Love and Grief

By Meredith Fields Lawler, LCSW

Published April 19th, 2018

In the still quiet hours of the middle of the night, I hold you and cry for you. My perfect and beautiful baby girl — I cry because you will know grief in your life.

You will know the pain of losing someone you love. Someday you too will lose your father as I have.

You will know the feeling of not being able to breathe as you realize you will never talk to your dad again. You cannot pick up the phone and tell him something funny that just happened. Something crazy. Something scary. Just something. Anything.

"I am filled with love and gratitude that you will feel this pain because that means you have a father worthy of your tears." Tweet

You will know the feeling of your safety net being ripped out from underneath you and not knowing where the bottom is because he was always there to catch you before you reached it.

I hold you and rock you because I am so sorry. I am so sorry you will know this sadness.

But, in the same breath, I am filled with love and gratitude that you will feel this pain because that means you have a father worthy of your tears.

Your daddy will be your protector. He loves you with every fiber of his being. He will be your safe harbor when life gets complicated. I know he will cheer for you through every one of your life’s journeys. You will know the same love that I knew and that love stays with you even after your dad is gone.

My hope is that you are much older than I was before you have to walk this path, but know that love will never die. Your love for your daddy and his love for you will go with you all the days of your life.

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About Meredith Lawler

Meredith Fields Lawler, LCSW - Director of Outreach Programs at Crossroads Hospice Charitable Foundation

Meredith Fields Lawler, LCSW

Director of Outreach Programs at Crossroads Hospice Charitable Foundation

Meredith Fields Lawler is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and the Director of Outreach Programs at Crossroads Hospice Charitable Foundation. A graduate of the University of Arkansas School of Social Work, Meredith has dedicated her career to medical social work, the elderly, hospice, death and dying and grief recovery work. In addition to her work at the Foundation, Meredith maintains a private practice in which her specialty is older adults undergoing life transitions, trauma, grief and loss. Meredith makes her home in Tulsa, OK with her husband and their three boys.

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